My Pen, My Mic, My Vibe...

My New YA Novel: An Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award Contender

2011-03-31T12:18:00.007-04:00

I know, I know...I abandoned my blog a long time ago. But now that my new young adult novel K My Name Is Kendra is being considered for the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, I need a place to express in my own words how I feel about this honor...

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!! That's how I feel. And if I had a mic nearby, I'd sing you a song.

So up to five thousand writers submitted their books in the Young Adult category. Only a thousand made the first cut based on their pitches. Two hundred and fifty of us made the next cut (announced on March 22nd...I was in the hospital at the time...lifted my spirits) and are now Quarter-Finalists. Only fifty of us in the YA category will make the next cut to be announced on April 26th. I hope hope hope to be one of those that advances to the Semi-Final round. But even if I don't, the feedback I'm receiving on my work gives me validation that writing is indeed something I'm meant to do! I thank everybody for their constructive criticism.

Keep in touch. I'll write again soon...

Quick Updates

2009-07-06T22:59:00.004-04:00

So much has been going on that I simply don't know where to start! But since it's late and I'm tired (having just returned from a monthlong sojourn to my home state Connecticut), I'll just give some quick highlights:

My new young adult novel K My Name Is Kendra is finished! It's amazing, though, how you think you have a solidly written project until you go back with a red pen and edit yourself. So even though the book and my first round of edits is complete, I still see a few holes in my timeline that I need to adjust before handing it off to a real editor. Even still, October is the scheduled release month. In fact, the book release party is scheduled for October 17th in my hometown in Connecticut. I may live in Northern Virginia now, but I can't think of anyplace else I'd rather release this next book. More on that later.

Quick shout-out to the young ladies of Won Myndz, a teen organization founded by Julia Moore (owner of the Universal Hair Salon) of Norwalk, Connecticut. I met with them last week at the fabulous new Tribeca Coffee House in South Norwalk, and we spent a few hours together chatting about a few of the things on their minds. I introduced them to my character Kendra (they loved the excerpts I shared from the book...phew), and we even did a little singing towards the end of our session. Talented ladies these...and ambitious! I know Julia will do her best to continue to nurture them and guide them toward fulfilling their dreams.

Lots of other stuff in the works. I'll keep you posted as I can! Exhausted. Going to bed now...

Out of the Mouth of Babes: The Wal-Mart Edition

2009-01-05T09:25:00.007-05:00

Like everyone else, I've seen lots of commercials this holiday season. But not a single one of them could top the unscripted scene that occurred between my just-turned-four-years-old niece and me as we stood in the toy aisle of our local Target store:

Her: You know what I'm going to do first with my new wand,
Tata?

Me: What, mami?

Her: (with a little hop and a wide dramatic sweep of her arm): Change this store into Walmart!

Note to self: Send a copy of this blog post to the Martin Agency (Wal-Mart is an advertising client of theirs)

my.best.words.ever. (part 2)

2008-11-29T21:32:00.005-05:00

Okay, so maybe I'd read this passage too (check out my earlier post on this):

Friday, October tenth, 2:03PM. That was the official date and time of Velvet Sharpe’s first day of freedom. The day she’d wandered out to the edge of the lonely country road at the end of her dirt driveway to meet Sadie, her one and only friend in the world. Sadie had been late, of course, so Velvet had taken those few precious moments of calm to sit by the side of the road and watch the cars go by, the way she used to back when she was a little girl in Sumter, South Carolina. Not that many cars actually came down this road anymore—it was one of the few in the county that seemed frozen in time, somewhere in the sixties or so, and had not yet been paved. Drivers trying to avoid damage to their hard-earned vehicles took alternate routes. But she’d sit out there anyway, wishing someone—anyone—would stop long enough for her to open a door and slide in beside or behind them and carry her off to wherever—the destination didn’t matter, just so long as it was far away from here.

The postman, of course, came everyday, though Velvet usually only saw him from a distance. He’d arrive almost three o’clock on the dot, just about the same time as her husband, Willie Sharpe, and Velvet would watch from her bedroom window as the two men exchanged greetings, chatted briefly, then went their separate ways—the postman miles to his next stop, and Willie Sharpe up the driveway to the run-down single-family home he shared with Velvet, his wife of twenty one years. It’d be at least an hour before he came inside, though, and when he did he’d be drunk “as all get out”, as Sadie would say, having spent the better part of that hour drinking homemade whiskey behind the old outhouse that sat at the far edge of the Sharpes’ property. He’d be empty-handed, too, whatever mail the postman delivered having disappeared somewhere between the outhouse and the front door. If there’d ever been anything addressed to her, she’d never known it. In the twelve years they’d lived in the house, not one single piece had ever reached her.

Until Friday, October tenth at 2:03pm.

On that day the postman—not the regular one—had come early, just moments after she’d reached the end of the driveway and settled herself on the wooden fence her husband had constructed two summers ago. The young man had pulled up in his truck, smiled the whitest smile Velvet had ever seen on a dark-skinned man, and handed her freedom in the form of a narrow, beige envelope with a New York City return address. Even now she wasn’t sure she’d uttered a word in response to his friendly conversation—in fact, what had he said exactly? She couldn’t recall. She’d been stunned at this stroke of fortune—Divine Providence perhaps—that had led her to the edge of the road on that particular day at that particular time.

Sadie had arrived moments later, and after seeing the envelope and deciding it was something very official needing to be opened right away, the two sped off in her station wagon to the small lake a mile up the road, but not before stuffing the other pieces of mail into the box in front of the fence.

“That way he won’t know you even saw it at all,” Sadie had pointed out, her voice hushed as if he could hear her miles away at the printing plant where he worked. Velvet sometimes wondered if he couldn’t.

“That one there,” he’d often say, “I want you to stay away from her. She ain’t no good—no good for nothing!” he’d hiss.

So Sadie had stopped coming around, except for when she knew he wasn’t home, and even then she only stayed a few short minutes. Sometimes they’d sit in Velvet’s kitchen and gossip, other times they’d park Sadie’s car far off the road and walk down to the lake and back, talking about their men or their lives or whatever other subject that came up, and still other times they’d just relax in companionable silence.

Today, though, there was much to discuss once the envelope was opened. Her freedom papers as they liked to call them—the documents that for all their legal jargon and verbiage simply said she'd inherited a furnished apartment in Harlem, New York—would send her out on a personal journey within just ten days' time, and there were preparations to be made before then. Preparations that would ensure she would never again have to darken the doorway of the home Willie Sharpe made sure she understood belonged to him.
[end]

my.best.words.ever.

2008-11-29T18:29:00.013-05:00

If I had two minutes in a room with a publisher to prove my talent as a writer, this is the paragraph I'd read aloud to them (from my unpublished novel The Brownstone):

Nile turned and rushed across the room, her footsteps barely audible as she ran up the thickly carpeted staircase. Claudette followed behind her slowly, running her fingers along the intricately detailed banister as she went. It immediately felt familiar, even though it’d been years and years since the last time she’d sat at her father’s side and watched him work, no, create the masterpieces for which he received the accolades of men who from one side of their mouths praised his work and from the other side offered him pennies on the dollar as payment for it. He rarely took their money, though. Instead--with his head hanging low and his rough, soiled hands clutching an old worn cap--he would ask for the scratched, ragged pieces of old furniture that people like these always seemed to have stacked and strewn about in their garages or storage sheds. They always obliged, thinking their faces cleverly hid the ridicule in their eyes as they watched this seemingly foolish, uneducated black man haul away what they believed to be worthless junk. They never bothered to stay in their doorways for very long, though, or they would have seen the smirk on his face at having so easily acquired priceless period pieces that would be restored and sold back to these same unsuspecting families as antiques at, of course, exorbitant prices they were all too willing to pay.

Every now and then, Claudette recalled, there were those pieces that took even her father’s breath away as he restored them. Some of these he brought into their home for her mother, a woman who recognized and appreciated their value, even to the point of drawing up a will that would ensure they be passed on to her daughter and down through the family for generations to come. Other pieces seemed to mysteriously disappear from his workshop without explanation, though there had always been plenty of ugly rumors floating about. Her father, of course, denied them all. And young Claudette always chose to believe him…even though there was that one time when she and Daddy visited Velda Hodges--a pretty, soft-spoken schoolteacher who lived two towns over--and Claudette sat down on a fancy sofa just like the one her father had been working on in his workshop several weeks before. Even then she was sure there was a good explanation for it.

The DeShawn Snow Foundation

2008-11-11T13:07:00.008-05:00

I can't write a book like K My Name Is Kendra without also providing a list of resources to which I can direct my young readers. There are many such organizations, I'm finding in my research, and some of them were founded by celebrities. The Joyful Heart Foundation (founded by Law & Order: SVU's Mariska Hargitay) is one of my favorites. There are many others that I'll be adding to the Resources section at the back of the book when it's published, but one that most recently caught my attention is the DeShawn Snow Foundation, which I learned about in an Essence.com article profiling the cast members of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Say what you like about the ladies (I only know what I read because I don't watch the show), but anyone who uses their celebrity status to provide a safe haven for troubled teenage girls of color deserves a round of applause for such efforts.

Excerpt: K My Name Is Kendra

2008-11-11T12:50:00.003-05:00

Meisha gets quiet again for several moments, and then she finally gets around to asking about Uncle C.J., which I figured she would sooner or later.

“Has he been around lately?” she asks as she digs around in her purse. I get the feeling that she doesn’t really need anything in there. That she just really wants to hear about him, but she’s playing it off like it’s a casual question.

I don’t have too many memories from way back in the day, but I do remember clearly how tight Meisha and Uncle C.J. had been the summer before he was drafted out of college to play pro football. He lived in our basement back then, and he used to take her everywhere with him and buy her whatever she wanted. They laughed a lot together and always seemed to be sharing some private joke none of us ever got. She would pronounce his name seej and he started calling her babygirl. I remember wishing he would call me that.

“He doesn’t come into town much,” I say, trying to think of a way to change the subject because I don’t want to talk about my uncle right now. And I definitely don’t want to think about what happened the last time I saw him a few months ago.

He had come into town to do some pre-game interviews with the Redskins one Saturday and had stopped by the house unexpectedly early that morning to invite my father to go with him. Daddy was so excited that he didn’t even answer his brother, but he was upstairs and in the shower within seconds. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him move so fast in my life.

Mama was out grocery shopping that morning, Jada had spent the night at a slumber party, and Philip had gone to watch Aris coach the local high school track team, so it was just me and Uncle C.J. in the livingroom once Daddy went upstairs. He sat down on the couch beside me and started asking me how school was and what my favorite subjects were. He wanted to know if I had any hobbies and what I liked to do for fun. After I answered all his questions, he told me how much of a young lady I had become since he last saw me, which had to have been about three years ago, I think, because Mama always seemed to have something to do outside the house whenever he called to say he was in town and wanted to visit with us, and she always took me with her. Then he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I told him I didn’t―that Mama was not having that. He laughed and said that with a body like mine, Mama was right to keep boys from around me. Something about the way his eyes dropped to my chest and then down to my hips made me really uncomfortable. I was glad I could use the excuse that I had to get dressed to meet Nita. I got out of there quick and fast.

“But he does come around sometimes?” Meisha presses.

“Every now and then,” I say. I figure she must really miss him, so I promise to call her the next time he stops by.

She nods and then stares off into the distance like she’s lost in a memory, probably thinking about all the fun she used to have with Uncle C.J. I promise myself right then and there that I’ll never tell her about that day three months ago. Especially the part about him popping into my room a few moments after I had left him sitting downstairs on the couch. He had claimed that he’d come up to see what was taking my father so long, and that he’d made a wrong turn at the top of the stairs. But the way he looked me up and down as I stood in the middle of my room in my bra and panties told me he was no different than the boys Mama was trying to keep from coming around me. Then he had called me babygirl and asked me if I wanted to hang out with him some time. Stupid me said okay, because I just wanted him to leave.

He had stepped into the room instead, though, closing the door behind him softly as he mumbled something about giving me a hug, since it would probably be a while before we would actually see each other again. I remember trembling as he held me because it just didn’t feel right. He didn’t do any of the nasty things I’d heard boys at my school whisper about. But he did hold me too close for too long, and his hands moved over my bare skin in too many different directions for an uncle hugging his not-even-sixteen-year-old niece, especially when she’s not dressed in anything more than a bra and panties.

We both heard the shower in Daddy’s bathroom shut off down the hall, and that’s when Uncle C.J. pulled away. He gave me a soft kiss on the cheek, put his finger to his lips as if to tell me we had some secret to keep, and then he was gone.

I’m not sure why, but I cried for half an hour behind that. I never told anyone about it. And I wasn’t going to do it today, especially not to someone who loves him the way Meisha obviously still does. I can’t break her heart like that. If she wants to see her favorite uncle again, I will just have to put my personal feelings aside to make sure they get together to catch up on old times.

More than anything, I want to see Meisha laugh the way she used to with him.

end excerpt

The Book I Want to Self-Publish

2008-11-11T11:54:00.003-05:00

The name of my next book--the most important book I know I'll ever write--is called K My Name Is Kendra. Written in the first-person voice of a 15-year old teen, it's the story of a young lady whose low self-esteem and depression leads to her becoming the victim of sexual abuse at the hands of a young uncle. The subject matter is tragic, but the message is ultimately an uplifting one.

So this is the book I want to self-publish. I've given up trying to get any sort of book deal. I don't mind self-publishing. I get to control everything, and I like that. But doing so costs a grip of money, as you can imagine. Why is why I keep trying different things to raise the money. Hopefully soon, something will hit!

Anyway, since my website is currently down (it's a luxury I can't currently afford), I've returned to blogging and will be posting excerpts from the book in the hopes that someone of note will take note and assist me in getting this book on shelves and me out on tour.

Enjoy the read. And feel free to drop comments here.

Will Sing for Money to Self-Publish

2008-11-10T16:34:00.006-05:00

Seriously.

Times are tough financially. It's hard enough to pay for the necessities of life, much less keep up a website (which is why mine is currently down) or spend money self-publishing a book.

So I'm tapping into my other talents to try and put together a few extra dollars to go to print. I'd love to do some studio work. And I'd love to do a little voiceover work too. I can't afford the demos necessary to get the attention I need to book the jobs, so I did a quick YouTube video and I'm hoping someone will stumble across it and contact me to sing a hook...or do a radio commercial...or something behind-the-scenes like that.

You get the idea.

So if you're someone who has a PAYING gig for which I could use my voice, then drop me a line here at my blog. Thanks!

Oh, and yay me for losing another 15 pounds (65 down...many more to go)!

My Opinion: Under One Roof

2008-07-09T20:28:00.004-04:00

Why?

Mary J. Blige's New Site

2008-07-07T11:10:00.005-04:00

I know, it's been a lonnnnnnnnnnnng time since I last posted. I've been very busy. And lazy about blogging. Okay, more lazy than busy.

Just wanted to log in for a quick moment to say that I have exciting news: I'm joining the Mary J. Blige and Steve Stoute Foundation for the Advancement of Women Now (FAWN) as a blogger! Among other things, I'll be posting about self-esteem, family, and personal growth. All the things I love to write and talk about.

I'm excited about this opportunity! I believe in their mission and I'm grateful to be a part of the organization in its infancy stage.

So stop by the site every now and then and drop a comment to me and/or the other bloggers there. We always appreciate constructive feedback.

Just the Boost I Needed...

2008-02-29T19:28:00.004-05:00

I just had such an encouraging conversation with Libby Gill, the Life Coach/Author that Lifetime TV arranged for us to speak with regarding our Clean Start Challenge projects. She gave me lots of things to think about (some of which I may or may not share on-camera...nah nah nah nah nah nah) that will help me stay on my current path of health and wellness, weight loss and emotional well-being. We even briefly discussed the direction my writing is taking. The whole conversation reinforced many of the thoughts that had been swirling around in my head already. And she also offered up advice on other things I hadn't quite fleshed out yet or even thought about at all. Stimulating conversation! I'm feeling further empowered and am confident that it will translate into something very positive for me in relation to this makeover...

Meanwhile, visit her site for yourself to see what advice she may have for you!

Review: A Raisin in the Sun

2008-02-28T10:41:00.007-05:00

I wouldn't have missed Monday night's ABC broadcast of A Raisin in the Sun for the world. Three of my favorite actresses all in one movie? It's a film-lover's dream come true.

Phylicia Rashad was brilliant as Lena Younger. Just brilliant. Loved her as always. Audra McDonald as Ruth Younger, amazing. The range of emotions she and Ms. Rashad displayed were breathtaking and heartfelt. I honestly don't know how they do it. Sanaa Lathan was captivating in the role of Beneatha Younger, a character I believe was born well before her time. I loved her youthfulness and energy. And those little things she does: the eye rolls and the way she clips her words...those little things added a little something special to her performance.

And then there's Sean Combs. I have to admit, I watched him carefully because I wanted to clown him. But I couldn't. I honestly couldn't. No, I would not call his performance as Walter Lee brilliant. I think that's an honor reserved for actors with that special something. But I thought he pulled it off better than expected. I can't hate on him. I honestly can't. I read somewhere that he pulled from his own early experiences as a man on the grind to make his character believeable. I could see that in his performance. And I have to applaud him for his efforts. Offscreen, though, he's so....*sigh*

As great a movie as it was, I'm told I should see the original with Sidney Poitier (I've only caught bits and pieces over the years). I will do that because Mr. Poitier's talent is incomparable. And then I'll also get the 1989 version with Danny Glover because I'm curious to see what he brought to the Walter Lee role. I've always respected his work and I can't imagine anything less than brilliance from him as well.

So that's my take. And the only other thing I have to say is...can we please have more black movies of this calibre? Please?

Note to Self: Get on TLC's "What Not to Wear"

2008-02-28T09:56:00.005-05:00

So I've started campaigning to get the attention of What Not to Wear, the popular TLC makeover show featuring fabulous stylists Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. I watch this show religiously and I jot down the rules that I think fit my body type, all in hopes of someday using them on a shopping spree to replace the disgustingly gross wardrobe currently hanging in my closet.

I'll admit it. I'm a fashion victim. I'm still wearing clothes from when I weighed 314 pounds (I'm currently at 260 and shrinking daily). They do nothing for me. They're misshapen, faded, worn, and in some cases torn. I'm embarrassed to leave the house in my clothes. So I don't. Leave the house, that is. As little as possible, anyway (I'm currently working from home so that's not too difficult). And when I do leave, it's mostly not until the nighttime, when there are fewer people on the streets that will be subjected to my style-challenged ways.

At least I recognize the problem.

So I've emailed thirteen of the show's casting people (I don't know the technical term). I hope that's not considering spamming (yikes). But a sista is desperate. Beyond...actually.

I'll keep you posted. And if you're not already watching the show...watch the show! Maybe you'll see me on there someday as part of my Makeover-In-Action Project. Meanwhile, you can still catch my little web reality show on mylifetime.com (Lifetime TV's online community) as part of the SC Johnson-sponsored Clean Start Challenge. See you there!

Make Me Over, Eb!

2008-02-24T23:13:00.005-05:00

Found this online show today (archived at blogtalkradio.com). I'm hoping that I'll be able to chat with the hostess, Ebony Looney, on her next episode, which broadcasts live Sundays on WOIC AM 1230 (Columbia, SC) . I'm sure she'll have lots of great tips that will help me navigate this makeover project of mine. I'll let you know if I make contact with her.

If you're in makeover-mode too, then check out her personal website for tips that may help you in your own journey.

An American Idol Favorite: Joanne Borgella

2008-02-15T18:37:00.004-05:00

So I'm excited about the new season of American Idol, of course. And I've picked my favorites, of course! I'll be writing about my other picks later, but right now Joanne Borgella is of particular interest to me. I've been a fan of hers since she appeared on and won MoNique's Fat Chance back in 2005. Apparently, she's had a steady career since then as both a plus-size model and a vocalist. I'm looking forward with great anticipation to see what she brings to the competition this season...

New Exercise Video Featuring Bonecrusher

2008-02-14T23:19:00.004-05:00

I've never heard a complete song by rapper Bonecrusher (though I do now recognize the song AttenCHUN! from the badly-written/badly-acted IMX/B2K movie You Got Served), and I didn't watch him on Celebrity Fit Club, but I'm impressed that he put together this workout video for plus-size people trying to get in shape, so I think I'm gonna have to check this out...

Thanks For Watching the Show...Both of You!

2008-02-08T17:34:00.000-05:00

Thanks for watching my little YouTube show! I know it's only a couple/few of you, but your words of encouragement make a sista smile. Oh, and sorry I haven't enabled comments yet at my channel. You know how people can be, and I just truly don't want to let any negativity into my space just now. Ever again, actually. You feel me.

Take care and I'll see you later. New video at Lifetimetv.com late Tuesday. Check it out.

And I Sing...Because...I'm Happy...

2008-02-06T17:50:00.001-05:00

I decided that every time I lose a pound or more, I'm going to celebrate in song. Why not? This is to celebrate another two pounds lost last week. That's a total of 52! See why I'm singing?

P.S. I'm not a professional, so keep that in mind please. Oh, and ignore that lisp (gonna get that fixed soon, I hope)!

HOTGIRLS, Inc.

2008-02-02T13:42:00.000-05:00

I love the work of this group: Helping Our Teen Girls In Real Life Situations. Founded by Dr. Carla Stokes, Ph.D., M.P.H., the purpose of this non-profit Atlanta group is to improve "the health and lives of black young women and girls by providing health education, youth development, media literacy, and technology programming".

I'm hoping to introduce my upcoming young adult novel K My Name Is Kendra to them personally.

Meanwhile, check them out here.

My New Laptop...And My Work Goes On...

2008-02-02T13:20:00.000-05:00

Remember when I wrote that I needed a new laptop because I had been writing on a borrowed one for so long? Well, I got one! Not the exact one I was looking at, but the one I did end up getting (the Dell Inspiron 1520) is spanking brand new, comes with much of what I need (I can always add on the rest), and I've been happily writing on it ever since it came in the mail three weeks ago as a gift from a kindhearted woman who believes in my talent and my work.

I am so appreciative of the gift, Ms. B.W! Thank you once again for your kindness...

My Article for Venus Diva Magazine

2008-02-01T12:34:00.000-05:00

Lots to do today, so this is just a quick note.

Wanted to post a link to my two-page Venus Diva magazine article. It's under the Lifestyle: Thriving In Your Curves section. Read the whole magazine, of course, because it's fabulous. But read my article first!

Enjoy. And as always, drop an email at my site. Oh, and if you haven't voted for me yet at Lifetimetv.com, please do so now at this address. I'm pretty sure Nancy (one of the finalists) is going to win because she's an educator and most likely has the whole PTA/PTO machine behind her in her town. But I'd like to at least get up in the double digits, if possible, so help a sista out!

More Art by Rene Dickerson

2008-01-31T16:16:00.001-05:00

My friend Rene Dickerson is preparing to auction off this masterpiece (Berry Gordy has a copy of it in his home). If you think it's captivating in this size, you should see it in person at its real size of 48"w x 36"h! You'll be standing there forever studying it face by face by face. And now that it's been signed by a handful of the artists, its value has only increased. I can't wait to see where it ends up.

Stop by Rene's site to view some of his other work.

I'm A Cover Girl!

2008-01-31T16:02:00.000-05:00

Okay, so not really. All I did was upload my pic at the Figure magazine website and pick from their headlines to make a mock cover. I thought the idea was cute, and I'll never appear on a magazine cover, so why not fantasize a bit?

Meanwhile, I do love that mag. That one and Heart & Soul. And Essence. And Ebony. And Upscale. And Black Enterprise. And Jet. And Black Issues Book Review (of course). And so many others, actually...

What was the point of this post.....? Oh, yes, that I'm a (fake) cover girl!

My Gift Basket From SC Johnson/Lifetimetv.com

2008-01-30T17:37:00.000-05:00

I gotta tell ya, I'm pretty excited about receiving this giftbasket from SC Johnson and Lifetimetv.com, the sponsors of the Clean Start Challenge that I'm part of for the next ten weeks at Lifetimetv.com. Lame that I got all giddy when I received it via FedEx just now? Not really, considering how much this stuff costs in the store!

I received Ziploc bags of various sizes, microwave-safe bowls with Snap 'N Seal lids, containers with Twist 'n Loc lids, a Glade Wisp Flameless Candle, and a Plug-Ins Scented Oil Fan. And the basket it came in is cute too.

I'm just too excited...

Updates All Over the Place!

2008-01-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in sooooo long...and I was doing so well for a while there!

Anyway, several quick updates:

I've been chosen as a finalist (under my legal name "Chela") in the Lifetimetv.com/SC Johnson Clean Start Sweepstakes, which means that I'll be documenting my weight loss/health & wellness journey over the next ten weeks by uploading a weekly video to their site for a chance to win $10,000 and a trip for four to Disneyworld. I'm excited! This puts me back on track with my eating (I was wildin' out there again for a while) and makes me more conscious of my health issues again.

Since it's only a weekly upload to their site, I decided to start a Youtube channel so that I can post more frequently and vent when/where I need to. Plus it allows me to do so much more as part of my makeover. More on that as details become available.

My upcoming young adult novel K My Name Is Kendra is coming along quite nicely. I'm completing the final pages, and I'm excited that the project is going to be edited by Katura Hudson, a freelance editor who is also Director of Marketing at Just Us Books, a 20-year-old New Jersey publishing company that has established itself as a leader in multicultural books.

Oh...and I almost forgot! I've written my very first article ever. Honestly, I can't even remember the title right now, but it'll appear in the February issue of Venus Diva Magazine. Should be available tomorrow. I was so excited to see my picture added to the masthead as a frequent contributor. I'm looking forward to a future with them.

I think that's it. Stay in touch! And thanks for all your emails.

Teenage Girls Bill of Rights

2007-12-15T18:54:00.000-05:00

Found this at the Joyful Heart Foundation site (mentioned below). Every girl should follow this code for their personal safety.

Diggin' This Site: Joyful Heart Foundation

2007-12-15T18:19:00.000-05:00

I learned of this site when I was doing research for the Resources section of my upcoming book, K My Name Is Kendra. I decided to include the section when I reached the halfway point in writing the book. After all, how can I tell the fictional story of Kendra and dedicate it to real-world sexual abuse victims but not include information on where these survivors can go to heal?

So the Joyful Heart Foundation is one of the several organizations you'll see listed in the back of the book as well as at my site. Its President and Founder is none other than actress Mariska Hargitay of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit fame, who started the non-profit in 2002 with the goal of helping "survivors of sexual assault heal their minds, bodies and spirits and reclaim their lives." As I suspected before even reading the rest of her statement, she was moved to do so after beginning her role on the show. Emails and letters from real-life survivors touched her, and from this was born Joyful Heart.

Take a few moments to visit the site for yourself, or pass the link along to someone who needs the healing.

Someday: Akwaaba DC

2007-12-06T11:28:00.000-05:00

One day, when I've finally gotten to where I want to be in my writing career, I'm going to treat myself to a stay here at Akwaaba, a gorgeous luxury inn in Washington D.C. It's one of five locations opened by author Monique Greenwood and her husband, but I have a special affinity for this particular spot because it's decorated with a literary theme. Each guest room features the books of the author or genre it is named after. I do like the Zora Neale Hurston, Toni Morrison, and Walter Mosley suites, but I think my first reservation will be for the Langston Hughes suite (pictured above). Looks absolutely stunning, doesn't it?

Someday...

The Mean Girl Never Wins...

2007-12-06T10:50:00.000-05:00

So Bianca is out. I actually thought she'd last at least into the top three, if not the top two. Oh well.

I have to say that I believed her when she said that we haven't seen the last of her. She's determined. And a little shady. She'll be alright.

Harlem Book Fair: 10 Years

2007-11-28T15:24:00.000-05:00

The date for next year's annual Harlem Book Fair (July 19th) was recently announced. The 2008 event is a very special one, as it is the tenth anniversary!

I say it every year, but I mean it this time: I'm going to be there! I'll have two books I'll be signing/selling: my young adult novel (K My Name Is Kendra), which I'll be releasing the first weekend of February (just in time for the 2008 African-American Read-In), and yes, finally, The Brownstone, which I'll actually be releasing the very weekend of the HBF. The Brownstone, as those who have peeped it know, is my first adult novel, and it is set in modern-day Harlem. I'm bringing the heat with this book, I promise. And I can't think of a more perfect place/time to debut it than at the HBF. The second stop, of course, will be here in D.C.

So mark your calendars for this very special celebration of urban literacy. Start planning now. I know I will be!

D.C. Is Chasing the Dream!

2007-11-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

Just pitched an idea to myvoicedc.com to write a column called "D.C. Is Chasing the Dream!". Won't post any details just yet, but it'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.

Keep you posted...

Time to Get Black Media Involved!

2007-11-28T11:45:00.000-05:00

I haven't been very successful in gathering the funds I need to purchase the laptop and laser printer I require to continue my work. That's not to say I don't appreciate all the notes of encouragement I receive, because I do. People are diggin' my work, and I love that. But I need this laptop. The one I'm borrowing is long overdue in being returned to its owner and it's only a short matter of time before it's taken away from me.

So I wrote Big Tigger for help today. He's someone who has his fingertip on the pulse of the community. If there's anyone who can give voice to my efforts, I believe it's him.

We'll see what happens...

Kimora Lee IS Fabulous!

2007-11-22T22:40:00.001-05:00

I'm sitting here watching a Life in the Fab Lane mini-marathon, and I felt like I wanted to write a few lines about Kimora Lee. But as I was Googling her, I came across this post at BET.com, and I can't think of anything else that needs to be said that this blogger hasn't already said.

What A Great Feeling!

2007-11-21T15:18:00.000-05:00

No time to spend blogging today, but I just had to post this one thought:

I went to Staples today to print a copy of the new book I'm writing. I cannot even express how great it felt to hold the nearly 150 pages of manuscript in my hands for the first time. I'm going to write another 65 pages or so, so it'll be an even greater feeling then when I add those pages to these. In the meantime, I'm rejoicing in the work I've done so far...

If I Ever Get the Chance to Perform Live I'd Sing This Song

2007-11-20T10:01:00.000-05:00

This blog is called, My Pen, My Mic, My Vibe. I've written several posts about my work as an indie author. Several other posts give you a sense of my vibe. But I haven't really talked about my love for the mic.

I sing, you see. And depending upon the day/hour and song, I can really put it down. I've had several opportunities thrown my way that I've thrown a-way, but I won't talk about those here, because I get on my own nerves when I think about where I could be today if I hadn't punked out.

I do know that if I ever got the opportunity again to record one song of my choice, or perform one time onstage with a live band, it'd be this particular sassy, empowering song:

No More
by Kamichi Jackson

(verse one)

To define myself by whether
Or not you’re in love with me
Is to resign myself to failure
A life of insecurity

See now I don’t do confusion
Honey that just ain’t my thing
Mama taught me resolution
In my head her words still ring

(chorus )
It’s not the end of the world if that man don’t want you
He ain’t the one
It’s not the end of the world if that man don’t call you
He ain’t the one
It’s not the end of the world if that man don’t fall for you
He ain’t the one
It’s not the end of the world if that man don’t love you
He ain’t the one

(verse two)

Now I could shy away from being
All that I am meant to be
And I could change my constitution
So that you’d be pleased with me

But that wouldn’t solve the problem
‘Cause then I can’t be myself
Is it really love I’m feeling
If I must be someone else?

(chorus)

(bridge)
I’ve been scorned
By a man who thinks he is too good for me
I’ve been scorned
By a man who is blind to my brand of beauty
I’ve been scorned
By a man whose forgotten that I am a queen
I’ve been scorned
You know what, yall?
I ain’t going through it again
no more

Wish you could hear the melody and the vocal arrangements. You'd love them.

*sigh*

P.S. These lyrics have a copyright, of course (an official one, filed with the Library of Congress and all). Feel free to plagiarize them. The money I win in court from you will give me the funds I need to finally record the song in-studio with a co-producer and engineer. Seriously.

this.sista.is.fierce.

2007-11-20T00:50:00.000-05:00

Okayplayer gave artist Muhsinah love recently. Thanks to them, I'm diggin' her sound too and will be looking to see her live here in D.C. soon, I hope. Check her out with your speakers in the on position and become a fan yourself.

Regina King: Guest Blogger on BET.com

2007-11-19T12:56:00.000-05:00

As part of the promo for her upcoming movie "This Christmas", veteran actress Regina King is visiting BET.com daily as this week's guest blogger. Who knew little Brenda Jenkins would grow up to be such a prolific talent?

Be sure to stop by each day to view her thoughts on the industry, her current project(s), and why bootlegging really does hurt Black Hollywood.

Writers' Strike Update

2007-11-19T12:07:00.000-05:00

This looks promising...

Project Runway

2007-11-18T19:54:00.000-05:00

How I got into watching this particular show, I'll never know. I don't have a high interest in couture fashion (what with my most of the time just not "getting" it...and then there's the whole 'these garments were created for a size 0-2 model' thing). But I do like it. I'm down for anything that allows creative minds to run freely.

Oh, and don't let anyone tell you that you can't learn anything from Reality TV. I learned, for instance, that I'm desperately in need of a head-to-toe makeover, especially since I lost all this weight. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm a 9-1-1.

Anyway, if you haven't already, check it out!

Well, We Knew It Was Coming...

2007-11-18T19:22:00.000-05:00

She may be gone from ANTM, but she's not over. I do believe we'll see Ambreal doing other things. I don't know what the future holds for her as a runway model, but doesn't she write and/or perform poetry? Or was it singing? Whatever the specific talent, she's a creative soul. I think she'll pop up on the scene another time another place.

Meanwhile, I was almost dead-on with my ANTM Top Six Pick.

"Nikki Parker" on "Ugly Betty"

2007-11-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

At least that's what it felt like I was watching when I tuned in Thursday night.

Mo'Nique was the guest star on this particular episode. She played the role of L'Amanda, the crazed weekend security guard who develops an unrequited crush on Professor Oglevee, er, Betty's boyfriend, Henry. It was a role that could have been played by any random actress in her first prime-time role. I have to say, I was very much disappointed.

I wanted to see Mo'Nique appear on the show in a glam role, say, as the owner of a full-figure magazine, modeling agency or advertising firm that wants to do business with Mode. I wanted to see her enter dressed fabulously, with an entourage, and being led by a sleek black panther with a diamond-studded leash around its neck. I imagined a storyline that would have allowed her to share screen time (not to mention all the narrowed-eyed sharp-tongued catfight-like dialog two primadivas can deliver in a forty-two minute episode) with the deliciously evil Wilhelmina Slater (Vanessa Williams). Now that would have been memorable, and a testament to how far (not how full-circle) Mo'Nique's career has come since The Parkers.

Note to Linda S.: Write On, Girl!

2007-11-11T21:45:00.000-05:00

I chatted with a waitress/server named Linda this past weekend during my stay at the Hilton Garden Inn and Conference Center in Suffolk (lovely hotel, by the way...would most definitely stay there again...I'll take Room 508 again). I was eating breakfast alone and reading a Mary Higgins Clark mystery when the young woman approached to see if I needed anything. She must've asked what I was reading. Somehow, that lead to the subject of writing (as it almost always does with me). She excitedly admitted that she'd always had a desire to write a book.

You know me.

I encouraged her to get to it. I know nothing of her writing ability, of course, because I'd only just met her. But that was neither here nor there. The point was and is that she wants to write. There are stories running through her head. Stories she wants to share. Stories that can only be told the way Linda herself can tell them.

So, Linda, here's my note to you: write on, girl! No matter what people (including/especially family) may say or do to discourage you, don't let it kill your dream. You have a book in you? Put pen to paper and let the words flow.

P.S. I told you that you'd inspire me! I went upstairs to my room and wrote all day long. Your excitement became mine, and I owe you much appreciation.

I Never Knew Him. I Wish I Had.

2007-11-11T20:23:00.000-05:00

I only just returned an hour ago from a weekend visit to Suffolk, Virginia, where my family gathered to mourn the loss of a young man who died violently late last week at the hands of Norfolk police officers. His name was James Raheim Dennis. People called him "Gucci". He was twenty-one years old. He was my cousin. And I never even knew him.

This post is not about the way he died. Officers and witnesses both offer various differing accounts of those moments. And out of respect for my family and what will be a lengthy and emotional ongoing investigation, I won't discuss that here.

This post is, though, about the fact that I never even got to know him. I could kick myself for that! Our families were closer once; saw each other more often when most of them lived in North Carolina; knew all the kids' name. How did we get to the point where so many years could pass and some members of the family never lay eyes on each other until they're gathered to mourn a life cut short? Why was this the first time my cousin's mother and I ever met, and why were my very first words to her "I'm so sorry for your loss"?

I am ashamed of myself for that.

I'm rambling, I know. I guess the point is that families in general have to work harder to keep in touch; to get to know each other better. It's hard, I know. Distance, schedules and health issues make it challenging to keep up on each other's lives. Not to mention the fact that the number of people in my immediate and extended family could form a small third-world nation and it is legitimately difficult to get to know that many people personally. But I've already made a promise to myself that I will work harder to make sure I don't have these same regrets a month...a year...ten years from now.

One thing about large families, though: they do know how to show up and represent! This past weekend, mine drove in from Connecticut, Philadelphia, North Carolina, Atlanta, and other parts of Virginia to offer their condolences to Gucci's immediate family. Bodies everywhere, standing room only. Cars lined up and down the street. Food and good conversation overflowing. Music. Singing. Laughter. Friends new and old. Fond memories shared. The home where Gucci once lived was filled with Love, and lots of it.

I may not have met him in Life, but those who loved him have made sure no one will forget him in Death.

I know I never will...

Michael Jackson on the Cover of Ebony Magazine

2007-11-08T17:06:00.000-05:00

This picture is, um, well, uh, so, you know, like...

Ahem.

So wow, did you see the game Sunday? Any game...?

This Week on ANTM

2007-11-07T23:02:00.000-05:00

Well, for all of Tyra Banks' best intentions, this season's ANTM cycle has just lost its one and only plus-size model, Sarah. I did think she'd go a little bit further in the competition, but she, like almost every other model her size in cycles past, seemed to become uncomfortable in her own skin after being around the thinner models for so many weeks. Unfortunately, it led to her dismissal this week. I'm sorry to see her go, but I hope she can parlay this into a career of some sort. Nigel himself said the camera loves her. Perhaps she'll be able to get some print work somewhere.

Meanwhile, she delivered the best line of tonight's episode, in response to shady Heather-hatin' Bianca, who with fake frustration claimed to be the biggest girl in the house. Sarah gave her the dumb look and returned with something like "Are we really gonna play this game?" Ha! Love that.

Afterthought: Looking at this particular picture of Sarah, I almost wish her makeover hadn't included a haircut. Maybe just a change of color (something reddish/brown/blonde) or a blunt cut would've been nice.

Bad Form, Star!

2007-11-07T20:24:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I just love TMZ.com. This particular time, it's because they've provided so much of the documentation that apparently went back and forth between the Full & Fabulous organization and the infamous Star Jones regarding the scheduled appearance she was supposed to make as part of the organization's 2006 Health, Beauty & Self-Esteem event. As is now well-known, Miss Jones chose to not appear because the organization failed to come up with the balance of her speaking fee of $25,000. According to the the founder of Full & Fabulous, Jones was sent a deposit of $10,000 and an additional payment of $6,000, which she claims she never received. She also apparently accepted first-class plane tickets (which cost the organization more than expected because the original flight booked for Jones and her husband wasn't acceptable and Jones' "people" re-booked the flight and, without the permission of Full & Fabulous, charged the $900 difference to the company's credit card...ewww, tacky) and a five-star hotel room reservation, both of which she reportedly utilized to promote her book and enjoy Super Bowl festivities.

Granted, based on the terms of the contract between the two parties, Jones is apparently under no legal obligation to return any of the money given her. But these young girls, who once looked up to Jones and had worked so hard to help raise the money for her appearance, didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire of all this drama.

For someone so desperately in need of positive publicity, wouldn't it have perhaps been more prudent to make the appearance anyway, based on the partial payments and perks already received--not to mention the audience being served--then work out the details of the balance after the event, so as not to disappoint the attendees? Even if she'd chosen to toot her own horn afterwards and announce to the world that she, out of the kindness of her heart, had made the appearance despite the organization not meeting their contractual obligation, surely that would've been better than this unforgivable turn of events. No one is expecting her to have shown up for free, or even at a reduced speaking fee (though if she'd chosen to do so, again, that would've been great publicity).

*sigh*

Why wasn't this handled differently??

Having Everything You're Ever Dreamed Of

2007-11-07T17:16:00.000-05:00

Okay, so you know my Disability check is, like, $2 a month, right? Well, maybe a little bit more than that, but not much!

Anyway, the point is that this book by Amy DuBois Barnett is one I'm willing to scrape my little pennies together for. You've already seen my personal quote about dreams...well, this book fits hand-in-hand with that philosophy. I'm interested in seeing what she has to say and how it can help me reach my own goals.

You might want to do the same!

Who Cares What Those Writers Do?

2007-11-04T21:32:00.000-05:00

I just returned from having dinner with my mother and several of her girlfriends. As is always the case when a group of women are gathered, several different conversations were going on at once around and across the table. I asked one of the ladies, who has dabbled in writing for years now, what her thoughts were on the impending Writers Guild of America strike. Before she could offer up an opinion, my mother made a face and--in a voice dripping with disgust--said, "Who cares what those writers do?"

Exactly.

That's exactly the mindset and mentality that has brought on the Writers Guild of America West member strike, which officially begins (picket lines and all) just a few short hours from now. I'm not a television writer, so I definitely don't understand fully the Ins and Outs of it all. What I do understand of it is that since 1984--when Hollywood unions made a deal to accept a really really small percentage of home video sales because at that time it was an untested market and studios argued that production costs were high--writers have been twisted out of alot of money, which is shameful because they are, after all, responsible for the words that come out of the mouths of the actors who make these shows successful. (These days, for example, writers only get about 3 cents on a typical DVD retailing for $20.) Writers just want a little bigger piece of the pie. And why not, considering the way DVD sales have taken off since then, even becoming more profitable for studios than box office receipts. Let's not forget the countless hours of television programming streaming all day every day via the internet. Believe it or not, the writers of those shows don't get paid for that either.

So what will television be like if this strike should drag on and on? Viewers and studios may not fully appreciate the impact of it all until they ask, as my mother did just a couple of minutes after expressing her unsolicited opinion, "So what's good on television tonight?" and find nothing but repeats and--God forbid--even more Reality TV.

Congratulations, Brandin Jay!

2007-10-31T10:52:00.000-04:00

Creativity runs in my family. My cousin, Natarsha Garcia, is the founder of a performing arts school in Atlanta, where she discovers and nurtures the talents of young future stars. One of her brightest stars is her own son, Brandin Jenkins, who is appearing in the role of Junior in the upcoming Martin Lawrence movie Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins. Everybody is in this movie: Martin, Mo'Nique, Cedric the Entertainer, Mike Epps, Nicole Ari Parker, James Earl Jones. Wow. Way to kick off an acting career.

But there's even more to this kid! Brandin is also a rising singer/songwriter. Check out his work on his MySpace page. And watch for more from this talented triple-threat.

Some People Just Get Everything!

2007-10-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

Variety is reporting that Tyra Banks has inked an exclusive deal with Warner Bros. to develop scripted shows, reality programs and direct-to-DVD projects. She also signed a series development deal with the CW and has restructured her Bankable Productions staff.

Glad to see her doing her thing, but I also have to admit that I'm just a wee bit envious! I'd love to pitch and develop some projects too. Gimme one day in the life of Tyra (minus the modeling and photo shoots, of course)...

I know, I know, I'm whining again!

Models: The Ultimate Top Model Casting T-Shirt

2007-10-29T02:02:00.000-04:00

How many wannabe models will show up at the next ANTM castings wearing t-shirts or hoodies with this logo across the chest or back? Lots, I hope. That's why I created it!

Pick up yours today at WordCanvas.com. Logo appears on various affordably-priced products.

The Strength of Kendra

2007-10-27T01:44:00.001-04:00

I'm putting the finishing touches on what will most likely be my most important young adult work ever. Considering the range of emotions I experienced while writing K My Name Is Kendra, I doubt I can do this again. Y'all know I suffer from bouts of depression In Real Life. Hard to take on the drama of a book character too!

Sadly, Kendra's story, though fictional, is not a new one. Statistics show that African-American girls ages 12-18 are more likely than all other youths to be victims of violent crimes against their bodies. That violence very often leads to depression, promiscuity, drug abuse, suicide and incarceration. Even more often, the cycle continues.

Our girls are in crisis and it breaks my heart to talk to girls like Kendra--real live girls--who have experienced the same atrocities against their bodies (and subsequently their spirits) that my character did in this book.

But at least there is dialog. And though it's difficult to listen to these all-too-common heartbreaking expressions, doing so is healing. Most especially when accompanied by professional help from a counselor or therapist. Without such help, this breakdown of spirit is carried into womanhood and is made perpetual.

It won't be easy, but I look forward to reaching as many at-risk girls as possible once the book is released in January.

Maybe I'll meet you.

Another FEMA Scandal

2007-10-27T01:28:00.000-04:00

What exactly were these people thinking when they pulled this particular scam? Setting up a fake press conference to address the Southern Cali fire issues?

I'm constantly in awe of the foolishness of some people. What will be even more interesting, however, is to see which, if any, heads will roll for this insulting stunt.

Thank Goodness For Artists Like Anthony Hamilton

2007-10-26T22:35:00.001-04:00

I was just in the car, running the streets of the suburban community in which I now live in Northern Virginia (back in the day I'd be rollin' five-deep down Jerome Avenue in the Bronx on a night like this...*sigh* I miss the ghetto sometimes), and I tried, really tried, to listen to the radio.

Two songs in, I'm reaching over to twist the knob into the OFF position because my ears are being assaulted by some R. Kelly song about a freak and her booty up in the club. Not for nothing, but isn't every other song by R. Kelly about that same thing?

I'm just asking.

Anyway, as soon as I step through the door of my mother's home, I pop in Anthony's Ain't Nobody Worryin' CD and exhale deeply, relaxing in the lyrical and vocally-relevant journey that is the music of this soulful virtuoso.

All is right again in the universe.

So They Really Do Use This Stuff In Real Life

2007-10-26T22:14:00.000-04:00

I'm sitting here watching one of my new favorite shows: Numb3rs, starring Rob Morrow and David Krumholtz. [Not too sad that I'm home alone on a Friday night. I don't even bother dating anymore. The only men asking me out are not good for me.] I am absolutely intrigued by the application of mathematics to criminology. Okay, so once they launch into formulas and numerology, I'm lost. Still, it's impressive.

I wouldn't be me if I didn't also mention the chocolatey-goodness that is actor Alimi Ballard, who I think looks like a slightly taller and more filled-out version of Sean Patrick Thomas.

Yet another reason to tune in.

Why?

2007-10-26T12:24:00.000-04:00

With all the shampoo, conditioner, soap in the world--and a stockpile of money to purchase any and all of it at will...

This look--out in public and even after an arrest...just why?

Diggin' This Site: Telltalepress.com

2007-10-26T00:03:00.000-04:00

This is the perfect little gift for writers. Tell Tale Press sells colorful stationery products that actually do, well, tell a tale. Each greeting card has the beginning of a story that you can then complete as part of a writing contest. Very creative writing prompt.

I purchased my set a couple of years ago, but I've never given one away. They're too cute!

More Girl Power

2007-10-25T23:42:00.000-04:00

The words on this t-shirt (another personal quote of mine) fit my mission of empowerment:

I walk tall...and it has nothing to do

with the height of my heels

You can pick yours up today at WordCanvas.com. And don't worry, it's available in various colors and styles (pink just shows up best here).

Plus-Size Never Looked So Pretty

2007-10-25T16:11:00.000-04:00

That's the title of an article I found on the AOL homepage today. The subtitle was "Tips to Hide That Pesky Bit of Pudge".

Cool.

So I read the article. And I gotta say, it says absolutely nothing about how to hide what I've got going on around my waistline! Yes, I've lost lots of weight (kudos to NutriSystem, Congestive Heart Failure, Type II Diabetes and the resulting threat on my life for the part they played in my choice to drop a few LB's...yeah!), but this spare tire I'm rockin' around my waist just doesn't factor in to the whole just accessorize with a super-wide belt philosophy.

Note to Mommy: my black clothes are my best friend because they are flattering and streamlining, according to this article. Okay, so I guess I can take their advice and venture beyond that one color and add more chocolatey browns, charcoal grays and olive greens this season. And more jackets like that camel-colored suede piece I picked up at the Avenue last year. You like that one, no?

Now if only I can find one good "strategically-placed oversized clutch purse" to "chicly camouflage" my quote-unquote tummy troubles as I get back in slimdown mode.

Brandy Is Back In the Studio

2007-10-25T14:51:00.000-04:00

Eurweb.com is reporting that singer Brandy is back in the studio. I'm so glad to hear that. She's always been one of my favorite artists, from way back in the day, and I've missed her music. Do your thing, girl...

I can't say that without also saying this: my heart goes out to all the people affected by the terrible vehicular tragedy involving Brandy, which claimed the life of a mother my own age. I feel for her family, her children especially. But I also feel for Brandy, because to live with the knowledge that you may have caused the death of someone--though an accident--is also heartwrenching.

News: Arson Suspected in the California Fires

2007-10-25T14:47:00.000-04:00

I had a feeling they'd come to this conclusion. Wow at the damage one twisted person can do.

ANTM: The Fab Five

2007-10-25T12:00:00.000-04:00

Is it five or six models that end up going overseas to some exotic location as the competition begins to wind down? I'll pick my Top Five now: Bianca, Heather, Lisa, Jenah and Saleisha. If it's six that travel, I'd have to add Sarah as the sixth.

As for who I think will be in the final episode? Kinda too early too tell, but I think it will be Heather, Bianca and Saleisha. Who will battle on the runway? I think it'll come down to Heather and Bianca. The winner? I can't call it yet...

Ding Dong, Ebony's Gone!

2007-10-25T10:47:00.000-04:00

So the buzz all over the ANTM message board at cwtv.com is that many viewers think Tyra was mean to Ebony last night for throwing away the modeling opportunity given to her. And throw it away she did!

If you didn't see it, Ebony was in the bottom two, which is just where she wanted to be (and truly where she belonged). She told her fellow housemates even before stepping into panel that she wanted to go home. It came across in her interaction with Mr. Jay and in her pictures (did you peep the snarl in her closeup?). It came across from the moment she stepped into panel. And it came across when the judges were critiquing her pictures. In fact, I think she was purposely even more off-putting than usual (as if that were even possible)because she wanted to tick them off and be sent home. It backfired though, because Tyra chose her to stay over Ambreal.

And then it happened.

This is where I'm in defense of Tyra. Now, I don't remember her exact words at the moment (I'm not in a TIVO household anymore so I couldn't play it back, but I will watch the episode online later), but I do recall that Tyra did check Miss Ebony and called her a quitter. Some viewers thought that was rude. But here's the thing: I don't believe Tyra would've come that hard if Ebony hadn't been so funky all along (and let's not act like she hasn't been) and if she hadn't been so flippant in the way she announced that she just didn't want to be there anymore. Sometimes it's the way a person says something that works either for or against them. The end result probably would've been the same, but Tyra's response would most likely have been different. In fact, think back to Cycle 7 when one of the twins (I can't recall which one) expressed her doubts at being in the competition. Yes, she was sent home, but Tyra was wayyyyyyy nicer about dismissing her. You see? Tone and attitude truly make a difference.

I will say this for Ebony, though. She was woman enough to take herself out of the race before it went any further; before the opportunity was taken away from another model who really wanted to be there.

Drama.

Kindred the Family Soul

2007-10-24T22:46:00.000-04:00

Please tell me you're down with this powerful husband/wife duo. If not, you really want to be. Listening to Aja and Fatin sing (both on their CD and onstage) is a musical experience like few others.

Visit kindredthefamilysoul.com with your speakers in the ON position.

I Want This Tee

2007-10-24T21:53:00.000-04:00

This is not one of my tees, but I'm diggin' it deeply because I HEART ?UESTLOVE too (if you don't know who he is then shame on you), so I'm street-teaming it (unofficially).

I stood behind him once at the 930 Club in DC. Floetry was onstage and my manager had brought me in through the back door. I was right next to the speakers and a guy with a big ol' afro was standing just below the stage. His hands were dug down deep in his pockets, and he was barely moving...except for the rhythmic bounce of his head. He turned at one point, I caught his profile, and it was then that I realized I was just feet away from a musical genius.

Ah...

Diggin' This Site: Meetup.com

2007-10-24T13:07:00.000-04:00

Great place to search for and create in-person meetups with people who share your various interests.

Need A Stylish Way to Carry Your Rhymes To and From the Studio?

2007-10-24T11:12:00.000-04:00

This messenger bag features a line ("you bring the beat, I'll bring the flow") from "The Micness", a little diddy I co-wrote and recorded with a local producer a couple of years ago. I think it's the perfect gift for the aspiring lyricist/songwriter in your life.

Buy it online at WordCanvas.com for just $29.99.

How to Score a Get-Out-Of-General-Population-Free Card

2007-10-24T09:14:00.000-04:00

What do you do when you begin to serve a sentence at Rikers and you quickly realize that each woman around you is ten times the hardcore thug you only thought (and wanted people to believe) you were? Befriend at least one fellow inmate, stage a scuffle in the yard, and get your poseur behind out of General Population (and into punitive segregation for as long as possible) as quickly as you can without losing face.

You can't tell me that's not what went down here. And to be honest, if I were Foxy Brown, I would've done the same thing. There's a big difference between throwing a cell phone at a complaining neighbor and trying to throw a punch at Big Wanda and her crew.

Note to Ms. Brown: Don't forget to have your manager write and send the check to that inmate's family in return for her role as Punk Inmate No. 2 in your little cellblock "play".

Is That Terrence Howard Pushing the 2007 Camry XLE V6?

2007-10-24T00:29:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure (and the question has probably been asked and answered ten thousand times already), but is that actor Terrence Howard's voice on the new Camry commercial? It's meant to be a sexy and seductive spot, and I think the advertisers certainly accomplished what they set out to do. A beautiful African-American model/actress to appeal to the fellas, and the mellifluous tones of TH's voice to catch the attention of the ladies.

I know I'm sold!

Once Lost, Now Found: Tres Personajes

2007-10-23T23:36:00.000-04:00

The news of the recovery of this painting by Mexican artist Rufino Tamayo, which was stolen twenty years ago, is all over the internet and television. Apparently, a Manhattan woman saw the piece lying in trash along a street. She says she doesn't know anything about art, but that it just didn't seem right to her that a piece like this should be discarded. It's now in the capable hands of the Sotheby's auction house (my cousin works there, btw).

The woman is being awarded a $15K finder's fee and a percentage of the sale of the artwork, which is expected to fetch up to ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Wow.

Think Pink When It Comes to Your Dreams

2007-10-23T17:31:00.000-04:00

I've put my personal quote ("dreams only die when you let other people kill them") on a t-shirt! It's available for sale at WordCanvas.com. Stop by there today to cop yours for just $27.00.

Also available in Lemon, White and Light Blue

What Do You Do When You Can't Sleep?

2007-10-23T01:30:00.000-04:00

You write. That's what I'm doing right now. It's 1:30AM in the morning, and I can't sleep. I hate laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, so I'm staying up to write until I get so tired that I can no longer sit upright.

That's the luxury of being in bad health, semi-reclusive and out on Disability. No two days are alike. No two nights are alike, for that matter. Oh yes, I've got The Life (she said, her words dripping with sarcasm).

Good lord, I hate this path I'm currently walking. Some way, somehow, I have to figure out how to get off Disability and write full-time. Some way somehow...

My I.Q.

2007-10-23T00:37:00.000-04:00

In an earlier post, I wrote about feeling dumb. I'm kind of obsessed with it at the moment, so I took one of those online I.Q. tests. My score was 127. I could swear it used to be higher.

Hm, I'll have to give some attention to this...

Another Rene Dickerson Work

2007-10-23T00:30:00.000-04:00

Love this painting too! It's so different from what I'm used to seeing come out of Rene's studio. I'll have to ask the name of the gallery where it's hanging.

Artist Rene Dickerson

2007-10-23T00:13:00.000-04:00

I'm both a fan and a personal friend of renowned artist Rene Dickerson and his wife, Linda. As close as we are, however, I'm never fully aware of what he's working on, of course.

So every now and then, if I can't actually get over to his home, I'll check in at his website to see what he's selling/sold. This piece above, entitled "Sarafina", made me gasp! I'm so in love with this painting. His website says it's been sold to a private collector, so I'm a little bummed about that because I would've loved to have seen it in person before it was sold (just to look...I could never actually afford to buy), especially the 23-carat gold accents that adorn her hair.

He and Linda have invited me to dinner this week. Hope he'll let me take a peek at what he's working on!

America's Next Top Model

2007-10-22T21:10:00.000-04:00

I'm a Top Model fan. I'm not sure why, really. Well, maybe it's because I like to see people realize their dreams. Maybe it's because I like to see those who have become successful make it possible for other people to realize their own successes. Or maybe it's because I like a little drama (as long as it's not my drama). Because there is always drama on ANTM.

But this comment is not really about that, per se. There are professional bloggers who will give you a scene-by-scene commentary on the show. No, the point of this post is that I think it's time for ANTM to switch it up a bit.

I say that because, each and every cycle, there are a couple of models who are dismissed too early. A couple who should be allowed to develop a little more before they get the boot. And then there are those who should be dismissed early but aren't.

So I'm pitching an idea to the producers. [Well, not officially. But I am going to write it here and perhaps someone will stumble upon this post and pass it along to the right people.]

Next cycle, why not allow all thirteen girls to stay through the first three photo shoots? At the first panel, the judges would deliberate as usual and grade the girls on their performance (but not reveal the results to the girls or the viewing audience). Same process for the second panel, which means the models leave both times not knowing where they stand or whether they will be among the three that will be dismissed all at once at the third panel.

Ha! Now that's entertainment.

This Cape Is FIRE!

2007-10-22T19:43:00.000-04:00

I'm diggin' this cape worn by Lucy Liu in Cashmere Mafia.

Jill Is Back in Full Effect

2007-10-22T12:37:00.001-04:00

I have yet to cop Jill Scott's new album, but I am sooooo feeling the first single "Hate On Me"! The title most definitely says it all.

The Hidden Beach family of musicians (and this time I use that term in all seriousness) are just too awesome...

Writer's Block on Girlfriends

2007-10-22T12:12:00.000-04:00

I was just over at the CW website checking out the storylines for this week's shows. I'm really looking forward to Girlfriends. This week, Maya, who has become my favorite character (probably because she's an author) begins ducking her publisher when she experiences Writer's Block and is unable to complete her third book. It should be pretty hilarious because I just noticed that this episode is written by Mark Alton Brown and Dee LaDuke, both of whom penned several episodes of the witty southern belle comedy Designing Women. I'm already smiling.

Meanwhile, I know a little something about Writer's Block. I'm blocked right now, as a matter of fact, and the only good thing to come of it is that I'm able to turn my attention back to blogging while I try to figure out what's going on with the characters of my new fiction project--the long-overdue second story in the Scenes From the Indigo Lounge series that I began as part of the Amazon Shorts program over at Amazon.com. Hopefully soon, I'll figure out where I want to go with the story and pick up writing it again.

This Is What I Want...in RUBY RED

2007-10-22T11:45:00.000-04:00

I keep getting these emails about the Dell Inspiron 1720 and I've decided that it is most definitely the machine I need to continue my work. Of course, I am the cliche struggling writer, so I can't afford it!

I priced it out, in fact, and with all the system details, accessories and software, it comes to about $3200 (yikes). But at least a laser printer is included, which is great because I print thousands of manuscript and script pages per year and I hate slow office machines that slow down my productivity when I'm on a roll.

So I've decided to start selling off stuff I own (brand new stuff that I bought, but is still boxed), stuff I've created (such as my tee-shirt line at my site WordCanvas.com), stuff on Ebay (my user ID there is kamichijackson) and stuff from my giftshop to get the money for it.

That being said, watch this column for links to things I'll be putting up for sale. And support a sista!

Salt-N-Pepa

2007-10-22T00:45:00.001-04:00

I like this show! It's nice to see the ladies working out their issues. Finally, we learn what happened to their musical partnership, and ultimately their friendship. Who knew Salt was dealing with bulimia and depression? Poor thing. She obviously felt that there wasn't anyone she could confide in, for whatever reason. It's sad that she suffered alone.

I get what Pep is saying too, though. She felt abandoned, confused, hurt at the way her girl ended their partnership and dropped their friendship. I would've been angry too. But at least now she knows why things went down the way they did. And now, hopefully, they can heal from this.

The funniest part of the first episode? When they ended up performing at Salt's church (instead of Shaq's event--a birthday, I think it was) and Pep forgot where she was and did a little move that Salt had to check her on with a quick pat on the behind to keep her from droppin' it. The audience laughed about it and Pepa shook it off, but I'm thinkin' it's gonna get old real quick if Pep has to keep giving in to Salt's demands. My call? That they will stop living in the past and come to accept each other as they both are now as grown women, and mend their friendship. But also that Salt will realize that their lifestyles are toooooo different and she'll eventually bail again unless Pepa is willing to do some sort of Christian rap (which I don't see happening). Who knows.

Meanwhile, I caught a part of their interview on Tyra. Spin looks beautiful and she was rockin' that yellow gold eyeshadow. Congratulations to her on all her personal and professional successes as well!

Diggin' This Site: Encarta.com

2007-10-22T00:26:00.000-04:00

I swear, there are days I feel that I'm just getting dumber and dumber.

Why, I don't know. I mean, I'm well-read. I write alot, so my mind is constantly active. I engage in stimulating conversation with friends, family and strangers.

Still, I feel downright stupid at times. So I've gotten into the habit of visiting the Encarta section of msn.com lately, and I take their little quizzes to test my knowledge of things taught to me way back in the day, as well as learn new things based on my current interests as an adult. It's not much, I know, but it helps. At least until I can afford to take some online courses I've had my eye on.

Try it!

Diggin' This Site: Shelfari.com

2007-10-21T23:47:00.000-04:00

Have you joined Shelfari yet? If you're a booklover, then you'll want to check out this growing community of readers around the globe. Stop by there today, become a member, build your profile, add titles to your shelf, and start connecting to bookworms just like you!

The Ignorance of Some People

2007-10-21T20:56:00.000-04:00

I recently read at EURweb.com that veteran producer Debra Martin Chase has made a deal with author Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez to adapt her book The Dirty Girls Social Club to the big screen. Now, I've never read this book so I don't know what it's about. But I'm always glad to see an author's work taken to the next level.

The sad part of it is that Ms. V-R's joy was diminished a bit because of some of the comments made in response to the deal. It seems some EURweb readers felt Ms. M-C had sold out because she, as a prominent African-American, had taken on a project that actually (gasp) featured non-African-American characters.

Um, what's the problem?

In this day and age, are we (some of us) really hatin' on each other because one of us chooses to step outside our immediate culture to conduct business? Are we really that ignorant? And exactly how far does the ignorance extend? Should we no longer read books by non-African-American authors? What about television? Are we supposed to turn away from shows that don't feature black characters or that weren't penned by black writers? What kind of sense does that make?

I swear, we are our own worst enemies sometimes. Too many times. Let's move on, shall we? And as for you, Alisa V-R, write on, hermana! Write on.

If the Publishing Industry Was Like the Music Industry

2007-10-21T20:09:00.000-04:00

I get frustrated sometimes that musical artists (and in some cases, I use that term really really loosely) get so much glory for their creative expressions. It makes me wish sometimes that I'd taken that record deal I was offered on my last day of high school back in June 1987 rather than pursue this writing thing. Before I let the years slip by. Before I gained all this weight. Before my dreams began to die. Before, well, just before Life took me over.

I mean, I walked right into the deal. My choir teacher played a song I'd recorded over the loudspeaker in dedication to my graduating class. I remember running from homeroom in embarrassment, because I hadn't yet fully accepted my gift at that time. Next thing I know, a man claiming to be a producer breaks through the growing crowd of people now surrounding me. He asks my name, tells me he wants to give me a deal, put me in the studio, make me a star, et cetera. I take his card to be polite, and then he gets swallowed up by the crowd and he's gone. I don't even remember his face; couldn't tell you what he looked like. I just know that it wasn't until later that day that I learned that he truly was a producer who was in the building visiting my choir teacher at the very moment my song played over the loudspeaker. He'd heard me sing for less than three minutes and he knew that he wanted to give me a deal. Just like that.

What if the publishing industry was like that? What if it was possible, as a complete unknown, to get a book deal based on the talent a writer exhibits in a two-page prose piece or a short story? If that was the case, I feel sure I'd have a deal by now!

Oh well, time will bring me closer to my dreams.

Why Did I Get Married?

2007-10-21T13:52:00.000-04:00

I haven't seen it yet, but I can't wait to! I've said before how much I enjoy Tyler Perry's movies. From what I hear, this doesn't disappoint (unlike his television series, House of Payne, which I admit is improving, but is a long way from being there). With such a stellar cast, how can it go wrong (just look at the box office figures)? I'm sure I'll have a lot to say about it once I've seen it some time this week or next weekend.

In the meantime, I continue to be in awe of the journey this man has taken to get to where he is today. It's inspiring to those of us who have yet to arrive, but are strolling the path to our own individual successes.

Congratulations, Tyler!

Some Days It's Just Like THIS!

2007-10-21T13:27:00.000-04:00

I had to post this picture of my three-year-old niece Jaz because I think it's just too funny.

Let me start by saying that my baby is a straight thug. Whew the temper on this child sometimes! This particular day, my sister had told Jaz to go upstairs to her room and lay down for a nap because the child was out-of-her-mind tired and acting like a little mad woman. Jaz, of course, was not happy about this and complained (read: screamed and cried) all the way the up the stairs. Eventually, the screaming stopped, and my sister went about her business. At some point, she started up the stairs and saw this:

The child was so tired that she'd fallen asleep on the top step.

Some days it's just like that!

When Your Own Words Come Back to Kick Ya in the...Butt

2007-10-21T12:58:00.000-04:00

I just rediscovered this blog of mine that I'd started sometime last year. Back then, I was certain I'd keep up with it everyday, but I lost interest in it very early on.

And then I somehow came across a post I'd written (just below) about letting out the artist in you. I realized as I re-read my own words that I haven't been living by them and I felt like I needed to re-post them to remind myself of why it is that I continue to struggle in my efforts to make this writing thing work: it is whom I am.

I am writing. Writing is me.

And every single time I try to push it to the side or walk away from it altogether, I feel a piece of myself fade. I feel choked in my spirit. But when I pick up my pen again and put it to paper, I breathe. In and out, in and out. And I am alive.

If only I could make a living at this. Catch the attention of the right (checking-writing decision-making) literary people.

Perhaps soon.

The Artist In You (Re-Posted)

2007-10-21T12:56:00.000-04:00

People are going to laugh at you. People are going to criticize you (especially those who always talk about how they're gonna do this and they're gonna do that...but never follow through and envy you because you do). People may even hate on you and belittle your skills.

Don't let them discourage you.

I'm convinced that there are those who exist simply to tear you down. Their sole purpose in life seems to be to keep their foot on your neck so you can't get up. To chip away at your self-esteem because, deep down inside, they lack their own. Sad. But sadder? They don't even get it.

Do your thing.

Are you a writer? Then write! Do you sing? Then demonstrate your micness! Are you an artist? Then create beautiful things.

There will always be Haters. Shake them off and press on.

Tyler Perry and Madea's Family Reunion

2006-03-03T13:54:00.000-05:00

I actually got out to see a movie on its first weekend this past weekend! My movie of choice was Tyler Perry's Madea's Family Reunion. Now I'd seen the stage play on DVD and loved it, so I was curious to see how it would play out in the movie version.

I was not disappointed, though it was a little heavier than I thought it would be (I think all the really comical parts were shown in the trailers) but I was still entertained. I left the theatre with a lot on my mind. It was deep...

I want to talk about Cicely Tyson's speech at the family reunion. Poignantly written, and breathtakingly delivered. I wanted to cry, but I don't do that (smile). Is it on the soundtrack? I haven't looked into that. Someone needs to put that somewhere it can be played again and again. Honestly, I didn't know Tyler could pen words like that. While I've been a fan for quite a while now, I didn't appreciate him as fully as I do now.

And Maya Angelou's poem. I loved it so. Another work I'd like to see in writing or hear again and again on a CD.

Lynn Whitfield was amazing as usual. Blair Underwood played his part so well it frightened me. I'd never noticed Rochelle Aytes before this movie. She was wonderful, especially in her scenes with Lisa Arrindell Anderson, who I have always loved. Why she doesn't have a bigger career, I don't know. She's amazing.

But I'm not really reviewing the movie. That's not my purpose for bringing it up here. I'm really just expressing how much I love Tyler Perry's writing, especially on serious issues. I appreciate him so much more now. I truly, truly do. I'm anxious to see what non-Madea material he comes up with.

Tyler (can we roll on a first-name basis?), write on, brother. Write on.

American Idol: My Take

2006-03-03T10:54:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it was inevitable that I would comment on AI. After all, this blog is about music and literature as I see it, so why not?

So this is my third year watching AI. I didn't watch the first two seasons because, well, I just wasn't interested in what I imagined would be manufactured talent. But I got hooked the moment I heard Fantasia. Oh, that voice...and that stage presence...

Not that I wasn't a Jennifer Hudson fan! The girl has undeniable talent, and I'm pleased to see that she won the Dreamgirls role. Why shouldn't she have the opportunity to shine as well? I wish her well (though I'm not really feeling the whole J-Hud moniker, nah). And Latoya London. The grace, the elegance (in addition to her obvious talent). I see good things for her. Perhaps a more minor career than the others? Successful in her own right nonetheless.

Now this year...let me call it...

Mandisa! Undeniably talented, undeniably beautiful. I think she'll be among the top 5. Whatever the outcome, she should go on to great things, which should include being a plus-size model. I like her style.

Kinnik! Why aren't people seeing what I see? This girl has the talent, the class, et cetera. She won't win, I know that. But she's definitely someone the legendary Mr. Davis (Clive to too-loud Brenna, ugh) should call up after the competition.

Paris! Little Paris. Why does she remind me of a little Fantasia? She's a star in the making, though I don't believe she'll win this competition. What I'm proud of? That she came on the show at all. As the granddaughter of Ann Nesby, I believe she could've gotten a contract through that connection alone. But it seems to me that she wanted to do this on her own merit and that's commendable. (Though telling America your grandmama is Ann Nesby certainly doesn't hurt.) Oh, and if she's smart, she'll be trying to grab up a book deal with the daily journal she's keeping.

Gedeon! Honestly, he looks insane to me. I'm talking straightjacket-worthy! That smile, that hair. But oh, that voice! He won't win, but he can go on to have some sort of career if he plays his cards right. And I believe he will do just that. He's certainly not lacking in confidence.

Sway! Oh, I was so sad to see him go. I know his performance Wednesday was below par (especially after his previous performance...him all in white...that hat...cheverre), but I was hoping he'd stick around. He'll be fine, though. He's got the talent. He's a cutie. And Diddy has probably already called him.

When all is said and done, I believe the two left standing will be Chris Daughtry (though Elliott Yamin might fight him vocally along the way...did yall see him sing Moody's Mood For Love?? every note, every run, every time) and...insert female name here. I honestly can't call that. Maybe it will be Mandisa. Of the females, she has the most stage presence, in my opinion. And I imagine that, with her music degree, she's probably a fine songwriter as well. That to me is the sign of the truest musician.

Time will tell. Meanwhile, you know where I'll be every week. Call me and we can talk about the performances.

But only during the commercial breaks.

And So I Wait...

2006-03-03T09:52:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna leave Hollywood alone.

See, I've had a script at a MAJOR (and I do mean MAJOR) production company for a few months now. My agent has been working diligently, doing her thing, taking meetings, making phone calls. And we're now at the point where they're trying to attach actors to the project, which will determine whether or not they will buy the script and move forward.

My nerves are wrecked.

I'm trying to keep my mind off of it. I'm trying to focus on those projects that I can control. Like the Reggie Brown series. And The Brownstone. And K My Name Is Kendra, which I'm writing for our impressionable teenage sisters (because I think they're being ignored literarily). And The Micness because The Brownstone release date keeps changing from week to week and I feel like I need to put something out there so people don't peg me as just a children's book author (and there is not a thing wrong with that, but I'm just sayin'...) and ignore all my other work.

But I can't help but think about this script. The waiting...oh, the waiting. I just can't take it! How do screenwriters do this project after project??

So I've decided...if they do end up buying this script, I'm gonna count my blessings, cash my check, and then I'm done with Hollywood. Period.

Then again, I do have this other completed script...and then there's still my file of incomplete movie treatments and storylines ready to be pitched at a moment's notice...

sigh

The Artist In You

2006-03-03T09:36:00.000-05:00

"The Micness" Theme Song Lyrics

2006-03-03T09:17:00.000-05:00

music produced by brian "virtuoso" wilson
lyrics, vocal arrangements and vocal production by kamichi jackson
copyright 2004

this is where I come to let my worries go
this is where hiphop meets soul
dj you bring the beat
i'll bring the flow

this is where the rhythm comes to stay
this is where lyrics play
this here is smooth at its best everyday

music makes me feel so alive
no i can't ignore it
it lingers in my mind

it calls my name boy
music's my game boy
nothing is the same boy
when music takes control