Out of the Mouth of Babes: The Wal-Mart Edition

Like everyone else, I've seen lots of commercials this holiday season. But not a single one of them could top the unscripted scene that occurred between my just-turned-four-years-old niece and me as we stood in the toy aisle of our local Target store:

Her: You know what I'm going to do first with my new wand,
Tata?

Me: What, mami?

Her: (with a little hop and a wide dramatic sweep of her arm): Change this store into Walmart!

Note to self: Send a copy of this blog post to the Martin Agency (Wal-Mart is an advertising client of theirs)

Note to Self: Get on TLC's "What Not to Wear"

So I've started campaigning to get the attention of What Not to Wear, the popular TLC makeover show featuring fabulous stylists Stacy London and Clinton Kelly. I watch this show religiously and I jot down the rules that I think fit my body type, all in hopes of someday using them on a shopping spree to replace the disgustingly gross wardrobe currently hanging in my closet.

I'll admit it. I'm a fashion victim. I'm still wearing clothes from when I weighed 314 pounds (I'm currently at 260 and shrinking daily). They do nothing for me. They're misshapen, faded, worn, and in some cases torn. I'm embarrassed to leave the house in my clothes. So I don't. Leave the house, that is. As little as possible, anyway (I'm currently working from home so that's not too difficult). And when I do leave, it's mostly not until the nighttime, when there are fewer people on the streets that will be subjected to my style-challenged ways.

At least I recognize the problem.

So I've emailed thirteen of the show's casting people (I don't know the technical term). I hope that's not considering spamming (yikes). But a sista is desperate. Beyond...actually.

I'll keep you posted. And if you're not already watching the show...watch the show! Maybe you'll see me on there someday as part of my Makeover-In-Action Project. Meanwhile, you can still catch my little web reality show on mylifetime.com (Lifetime TV's online community) as part of the SC Johnson-sponsored Clean Start Challenge. See you there!

Plus-Size Never Looked So Pretty

That's the title of an article I found on the AOL homepage today. The subtitle was "Tips to Hide That Pesky Bit of Pudge".

Cool.

So I read the article. And I gotta say, it says absolutely nothing about how to hide what I've got going on around my waistline! Yes, I've lost lots of weight (kudos to NutriSystem, Congestive Heart Failure, Type II Diabetes and the resulting threat on my life for the part they played in my choice to drop a few LB's...yeah!), but this spare tire I'm rockin' around my waist just doesn't factor in to the whole just accessorize with a super-wide belt philosophy.

Note to Mommy: my black clothes are my best friend because they are flattering and streamlining, according to this article. Okay, so I guess I can take their advice and venture beyond that one color and add more chocolatey browns, charcoal grays and olive greens this season. And more jackets like that camel-colored suede piece I picked up at the Avenue last year. You like that one, no?

Now if only I can find one good "strategically-placed oversized clutch purse" to "chicly camouflage" my quote-unquote tummy troubles as I get back in slimdown mode.

Need A Stylish Way to Carry Your Rhymes To and From the Studio?

This messenger bag features a line ("you bring the beat, I'll bring the flow") from "The Micness", a little diddy I co-wrote and recorded with a local producer a couple of years ago. I think it's the perfect gift for the aspiring lyricist/songwriter in your life.

Buy it online at WordCanvas.com for just $29.99.

Think Pink When It Comes to Your Dreams

I've put my personal quote ("dreams only die when you let other people kill them") on a t-shirt! It's available for sale at WordCanvas.com. Stop by there today to cop yours for just $27.00.

Also available in Lemon, White and Light Blue