My Opinion: Under One Roof

Why?

I Never Knew Him. I Wish I Had.

I only just returned an hour ago from a weekend visit to Suffolk, Virginia, where my family gathered to mourn the loss of a young man who died violently late last week at the hands of Norfolk police officers. His name was James Raheim Dennis. People called him "Gucci". He was twenty-one years old. He was my cousin. And I never even knew him.

This post is not about the way he died. Officers and witnesses both offer various differing accounts of those moments. And out of respect for my family and what will be a lengthy and emotional ongoing investigation, I won't discuss that here.

This post is, though, about the fact that I never even got to know him. I could kick myself for that! Our families were closer once; saw each other more often when most of them lived in North Carolina; knew all the kids' name. How did we get to the point where so many years could pass and some members of the family never lay eyes on each other until they're gathered to mourn a life cut short? Why was this the first time my cousin's mother and I ever met, and why were my very first words to her "I'm so sorry for your loss"?

I am ashamed of myself for that.

I'm rambling, I know. I guess the point is that families in general have to work harder to keep in touch; to get to know each other better. It's hard, I know. Distance, schedules and health issues make it challenging to keep up on each other's lives. Not to mention the fact that the number of people in my immediate and extended family could form a small third-world nation and it is legitimately difficult to get to know that many people personally. But I've already made a promise to myself that I will work harder to make sure I don't have these same regrets a month...a year...ten years from now.

One thing about large families, though: they do know how to show up and represent! This past weekend, mine drove in from Connecticut, Philadelphia, North Carolina, Atlanta, and other parts of Virginia to offer their condolences to Gucci's immediate family. Bodies everywhere, standing room only. Cars lined up and down the street. Food and good conversation overflowing. Music. Singing. Laughter. Friends new and old. Fond memories shared. The home where Gucci once lived was filled with Love, and lots of it.

I may not have met him in Life, but those who loved him have made sure no one will forget him in Death.

I know I never will...

Michael Jackson on the Cover of Ebony Magazine

This picture is, um, well, uh, so, you know, like...

Ahem.

So wow, did you see the game Sunday? Any game...?

Bad Form, Star!

Sometimes I just love TMZ.com. This particular time, it's because they've provided so much of the documentation that apparently went back and forth between the Full & Fabulous organization and the infamous Star Jones regarding the scheduled appearance she was supposed to make as part of the organization's 2006 Health, Beauty & Self-Esteem event. As is now well-known, Miss Jones chose to not appear because the organization failed to come up with the balance of her speaking fee of $25,000. According to the the founder of Full & Fabulous, Jones was sent a deposit of $10,000 and an additional payment of $6,000, which she claims she never received. She also apparently accepted first-class plane tickets (which cost the organization more than expected because the original flight booked for Jones and her husband wasn't acceptable and Jones' "people" re-booked the flight and, without the permission of Full & Fabulous, charged the $900 difference to the company's credit card...ewww, tacky) and a five-star hotel room reservation, both of which she reportedly utilized to promote her book and enjoy Super Bowl festivities.

Granted, based on the terms of the contract between the two parties, Jones is apparently under no legal obligation to return any of the money given her. But these young girls, who once looked up to Jones and had worked so hard to help raise the money for her appearance, didn't deserve to be caught in the crossfire of all this drama.

For someone so desperately in need of positive publicity, wouldn't it have perhaps been more prudent to make the appearance anyway, based on the partial payments and perks already received--not to mention the audience being served--then work out the details of the balance after the event, so as not to disappoint the attendees? Even if she'd chosen to toot her own horn afterwards and announce to the world that she, out of the kindness of her heart, had made the appearance despite the organization not meeting their contractual obligation, surely that would've been better than this unforgivable turn of events. No one is expecting her to have shown up for free, or even at a reduced speaking fee (though if she'd chosen to do so, again, that would've been great publicity).

*sigh*

Why wasn't this handled differently??

Why?

With all the shampoo, conditioner, soap in the world--and a stockpile of money to purchase any and all of it at will...

This look--out in public and even after an arrest...just why?